Being Brave


Lunch with a colleague I never had lunch before inspired this post when she told me that I was brave for moving here for work and starting this job after graduating. I never thought of it as something brave to do. And thinking about it reminded me that I have been told I was brave a lot lately.
It started when something went wrong with a case and my boss wanted to see me and one of our paralegals. Knowing that what went wrong was not done by any of us he got angry at us for knowing about it but not telling him. I have to say, when our boss gets angry things can get a little rough. So he went on and on about how no one had told him about it and got mad at us for not seeing the problem. Thing is, I was calm as fuck. Sorry for my words, but I am serious. I told him in the most serious and confident way I could that we did see the problem but it was not our or especially my obligation to tell him since it was not even my case (there is a responsible lawyer for every case). So when it is not my case, how would I know if he is up to date? I told him that things like this happen because of the uncertain structure. He got mad at me first for criticizing the structure but after I explained, he understood and I do think he thought about it afterwards. 
So when we got out the paralegal told me it was such a brave thing to say and she was so afraid for me getting fired. And here’s the thing: I was afraid to get fired too. There was a moment I was sure I wouldn’t come back the next day and yet, I said what I had to say, unafraid of the consequence because I knew I was right. It was certainly confident, but was it brave?
I could share so many stories from work about someone telling me that I did something brave, the thing is it is not. 
I don’t know if saying what you think and being confident enough to deal with sassy male lawyers is brave. It is confident for sure but brave? Maybe everyone thinks differently about being brave. What is brave for someone might be no big deal for someone else. What my female colleagues see as brave things to do are completely from my point of view. 

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