Girls Talk: Setting Limits

Some people take a lot of punches before they fight back. They tend to load all the bullshit of others on their backs.
What I want to tell you and also to myself is: STOP. You need to start setting limits. There might be a lot you can take but you really do not have to deal with every kind of bullshit that is thrown at you.
There used to be a blog post on my draft list, already written and edited several times. Never published. It was a good-bye post. A declaration of freedom from someone that held me down for years. I might never publish it because I have grown and would write it differently now, but it is the experience that led me to write this one.
From kindergarden to this day I had and still have some really valuable friendships. The ones that make you smile thinking about it. Friends who always have your back and support you no matter what. Well yes, I am lucky. But like a lot of people I also experienced the toxic friendships. Those consuming ones that always leave you broken in some kind of way.
Things we can take most of the times are mean comments from people who might not even know us. Talking behind your back by people who have nothing better to do. You don’t have to listen. Keep going. Be confident.
What we really can’t and shouldn’t be surrounded with, are friends who would turn on us on the first opportunity. Friends who hurt you just to win an argument. Friends who barley can make it to keep contact. They might not consider you a friend anymore or they might never have.
I know we tend to try fixing things that are badly broken sometimes, just because they are important to us. But with friendships, there are always two people involved.
Just because one part values the connection and wants to keep it going, doesn’t mean the other part feels the same way.
This is completely okay. This is where we need to set limits for our own good.
You might never get to hear an honest good-bye from someone, telling you he or she does not want to keep the friendship going anymore due to changed personality/lack of whatever. I mean come on, we grow up. Friendships might not work out because we changed so much. THIS IS OKAY.
You only have to admit it. Admit it to yourself. Nothing and no one else will do that for you.
Set a limit for bullshit you can take from a “friend”. And believe me, with people like that there will always come the time when it is just too much to take.

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