Ballet, the only sports I ever liked. I used to dance for five years when I was a little girl and then stopped. Back when I was 12 I thought I knew what was good for me, what I wanted. And damn did I know what I didn’t want.
I definitely did not want to become a ballerina and dance on stages but that seemed to be what our ballet teacher wanted us to be. She was a ballerina once, who had to give up her dreams because of an injury.
Thinking about it know I do understand that she was hurt inside, maybe every dancing girl she saw hurt her and maybe she just needed us to be as good as a prima ballerina.
Now I am okay with it, but the drill, the criticism and the pressure was too much for being 12 years old and I didn’t want to go anymore. I tried other sports, jazz dance, zumba, jogging but whenever I saw someone doing ballet I wished I had never stopped dancing.
With 19 I had the opportunity to dance again at the University and I did with my girls. It was fun to dance without pressure two times a week and I liked it.
When I left Würzburg, I left everything I did and liked there. It was like a cut, a fresh start. And to be honest I did not really think about dancing for a while.
Again I began to miss it but I am studying in a small town now, where theaters don’t grow on trees and ballet training might cost a fortune for a student. I hesitated for years. With 25 I wanted to do it but always thought I am too old to start again. Serious nonsense. Trust me, you’re never too old to do anything. Sometimes you have to do something for yourself and if it is dancing, great!
Last week I had my first lesson and even though I felt like I forgot every move, as if my body rusted or something, I felt amazing. It was exhausting and I felt every bone, every muscle in my body the next day but it made my happy. I am usually a happy person, but to be honest I did not know how happy dancing could make me feel.
What I wanted to say is that sometimes you let go of something and years afterwards, you find out that you really miss it but it is never too late to do it or try it again.